Waiting to see some healthy Olympic fistfights in company of Nino Benvenuti (oh, if you do not know who he is, due to your young age, take a trip on Google or Wikipedia), I'm going now to comment the August torment/running story of the four wheels.
Part one.
Kimi-Ferrari: yes, because...
It will follow, after fistfights, the inevitable no-reasons..
In Guareschi-style: seen from the right, seen from left. There is also another option: seen by Abramo, of course.
But let's start with the reasons that would justify the marriage.
1) If I were Kimi, I would accept because, by calling me back, Ferrari explicitly recognizes they made a mistake in 2009, and there are satisfactions that are priceless.
2) If I were Kimi, I would accept because, when returning after a two-year stop and doing great, I have demonstrated to be a Top Driver and a Top Driver must have a great team behind.
3) That is, Lotus is doing very well in 2012, maybe they will win three world championships in a row, but looking ahead, where does a driver bet more willingly, on the Black or on the Red?
4) If I were Kimi, I would have no fear of the comparison with Alonso. I was not afraid of Montoya at McLaren, when the Colombian was described as the only true anti Schumi. I can not be afraid of the Spaniard.
5) If I were Kimi, I would accept to enjoy Montezemolo's face when he says to the world: we have taken him back because he belongs to the family, we have always loved him and we were the ones who gave him motivation back by letting him a two-year of craps in rallying. Together with all the propaganda the chorus makes on television and newspapers: oh yes, we have always known that the Blond is first-rate!!!
6) If I were Kimi, I would accept to see the face that Botin makes in the paddock of the 2013 Australian GP, when he meets me, dressed in red.
7) If I were Kimi, I would accept, because even in Finland they know a very popular song by Lucio Battisti: It's you, again? But were we supposed not to see each other again? And, how are you, etcetera. I'd order Stella to play it on full blast on the radio during qualifying in the first GP in 2013, where, of course, I will get the pole.
8) If I were Kimi, I would accept, because it is Alonso who deals with the media in any case, so I can not give a damn of commercial commitments, go to play ice hockey in Fanano, fuck like a hedgehog between Milan and Vimercate and drink whole barrels of white infernal liquid.
9) If I were Kimi, I' would accept it, because today, in August 2012, I'm the last world champion with Ferrari, ahem ahem ahem, and, while I'm about it, even the last driver who won at Spa with the Red, ahem ahem ahem.
10) If I were Kimi, at last, I would accept because I love this blog and I'm looking forward to dedicate my first Ferrari victory from 2013 to a certain Abramo.
... and let's get now to the second part, inverse and overturned, of the brilliant August torment (I swear, I would not have been able to invent anything better, sometimes news beat the imagination of any scriptwriter).
Well then.
Kimi-Ferrari, no, because...
1) If I were Kimi, I would not go back because even in Finland they know a familiar phrase, two little words, from the Anglo-Saxon culture. Here they are: 'Move on'. It means: when something is over, at work or in love, in hobbies or in family habits, it makes no sense to imagine to go back. Whoever is responsible for the end of a story and regardless of sorrow or regret, 'Move on'. Go forward. Kimi in Red belongs to the past, a glorious past, but nevertheless past it is.
2) If I were Kimi, I would not go back because, it is true that they paid me the trouble of staying at home and they paid me well for it, but the point is that they fired me. It's a matter of pride, dammit. And those who fired me, even if with a severance pay which guaranteed me to live like a lord, well, they are still there. Why should I come back among them, for favour? So that I get an ulcer-bis?
3) If I were Kimi, I would not go back because, to be fair, after three years as main character in Maranello, a certain Alonso has got the house keys (and maybe even the safe keys). Now, Fernando is very good and I, Räikkönen, I know it perfectly, because we who are pilots, we know one another. It's better I don't join him in an environment where he's adored. I would be beaten at the start, knowing the mentality of the Italians.
4) If I were Kimi, I would not go back, because I've already won the championship with Ferrari and I understand that there are only two of us that can say it in the last thirty-three years. Two, exactly.
5) If I were Kimi, I would not go back, because when I chose Lotus, I was taken for a madman, but, apparently, I'm not so stupid, if one goes and look at the results. Among other things, I'm so foolish that I believe I can win the title already in 2012. In your opinion, if I go to visit Bouiller, or whatever his name is, to tell him that I signed for Ferrari, how the team will treat me from Belgium onwards? With gloves or with a pitchfork?
6) If I were Kimi, I would not go back, because a world championship won with Lotus, if not this, the next year, would have an enormous value, for those who know about motoring things.
7) If I were Kimi, I would not go back, because, in truth, I'm waiting for a call from McLaren, that deep down remained in my soul.
8) If I were Kimi, I would not go back, because I'm not a pimp/I don't creep, I cannot get around to all sponsor events, obviously I understand the needs of Ferrari, but then, who cures my orchitis?
9) If I were Kimi, I would not go back because a generation of Italian propagandists would risk mass suicide and Stella Bruno/Mazzoni /Giovannelli don't exalt me alive, let alone if they'd cede to a self-destructive impulse.
10) If I were Kimi, at last, I would not go back, because if I did it, this blog should be updated 24 hours of 24 and I know that the chief of the tribe has a certain age and like Noodles in 'Once Upon a Time in America' he always goes to bed early in the evening …
Now I have to express MY opinion on the hypothetical COME BACK OF THE CENTURY.
I premise.
As some of you know, I'm bustling with other affairs.
I intercepted the rumours about a possible marriage-bis between Kimi and Ferrari wandering in London.
Curiously, the thing, just in its hypothesis version, didn't even surprised me.
Intelligent ideas never surprise me.
Stupid things leave me flabbergasted instead.
Many, a great number. In life, in my profession in general.
Now.
Now, I have the duty to be intellectually honest with myself and with you. Who visits this pleasant place of perdition knows my old belief.
It is from summer 2009 that I repeat I did not understand why, having the opportunity, Ferrari did not bet on the launch of an exceptional pair.
Alonso-Räikkönen.
Having always been of this opinion, as do I, how could I say now that I wouldn't like the achievement of such a combination?
It would be a contradiction.
Then, I had no doubts about the quality of the Blond, even after the two-year break.
I was afraid if anything (and I wrote it) that he got a too mediocre car. In this case, see Schumacher's return, he would have been inundated with contumelies.
He has been very lucky with Lotus instead, and in fact he runs for the title.
At last.
At last, putting together all the dots like in a drawing from 'La Settimana Enigmistica' (a puzzle magazine), I support the DREAM TEAM.
I assume I will not have this satisfaction, but if it really happened, I would agree and would be happy.
Betulla, thank you for translating these Turrini articles! We like them very much! Apart from the direct news from the red team, his humor is great! h" title="hih" /> and he loves Kimi!!!!! To be honest i like all this talk created around Kimi these days, it simply shows how valuable an asset he has become once again for f1!
Thank you Betulla " title="ty" /> " title="hug" />
I think Turrini really want Kimi back in Ferrari, but he probably also know that the chance is slim.... It's contract negotiation time so I'm sure the rumours will continue h" title="hih" />
I'm at the closing ceremony of this splendid Olympiad, the thirteenth of mine. I have one thing to tell. In the afternoon, just for my own personal pleasure, I went to see the basketball final. The Dream Team versus Spain. A part from the fact that it was a wonderful match, at one point I hear someone calling my name. Hey, Leo. I look round. He wasn't Kobe Bryant. He wasn't Lebron James. He wasn't Pau Gasol. No, Sir. Disappointment. Wait. He was the Dom. I swear it. Stefano Domenicali. Specially came from Italy for the final of the Dream Team. Great meeting/or great match. * I ask him: you are here because, with regard to Dream Team, well... His answer: don't try to be clever. Me: but, when do you announce the team for 2013? Soon. Come on, tell me. No. Tell me. Alonso plus one. Don't try to be clever yourself. OK, he revealed it to me. He revealed it to me? I cannot write it. I cannot write it? I promised. I promised? But, how great Lebon is. And how good Spaniards are. And what a beautiful ceremony. Only the English can put together Churchill and the music that since 1960s has changed the world. What a day. What a night.
PS. See you in a few days. All fantastic, but since 5th June I have not taken a day off. Okay, it's always better than working, etcetera. But I need to take breath. Thanks everyone.
Edit: * "grande incontro" can be both: great meeting/encounter (Turrini & Domenicali) or great match (the Dream Team v Spain)
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Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:58 pm
" title="ty" /> Olga and Bradamante
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h" title="hih" /> and he loves Kimi!!!!!
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arts" title="hearts" />